The Retiro tried to kill me!

You´ll be pleased to know I don´t have gory photos to prove it, but yesterday I managed to leave about half a pint of blood in the Retiro!

Off I went for a nice, casual walk in the park with Julie. No sooner had we got into one of the shady avenues, than my left foot disappeared down one of the gulleys that the rainwater drains into and I crashed unceremoniously to the floor.

Slightly embarrassed, I dusted myself off, put some weight on my left foot to see just how badly I´d knackered my ankle and was delighted to find it was OK.

BUT - as I walked away I realised that inexplicably my right foot felt really wet. I looked down and was somewhat surprised to see a pool of blood collecting all over my shoe and on the ground! Somehow in the process I´d taken a massive chunk out of the bottom of my big toe and it was practically spraying blood everywhere.

I made it to a bench and hurled my blood-soaked shoe to the ground, poured most of my bottle of water over it and watched the pink liquid soak into the dust.

The ever-practical Julie headed back to the Info booth and got plasters, scissors, gauze and......alcohol. No, not to drink, but that lovely stuff that it´s such a good idea to pour on open wounds until you remember how much it f**king hurts!! OUCH. And I´ve got a damn high pain threshold.

So for the last 2 days I´ve been wandering about with a toe covered in plasters, limping, trying not to put any weight on that side of my foot.

I´m sure I´ll forgive the Retiro in the end, but for now, I´m a bit miffed!

Batteries, beer, bare chests and breakfasts

OK, I admit, I may have been a little over-excited to finally get online on my laptop the other day. Not that I´ve managed to get a dongle or anything else but I did at least find a cafe within walking distance (10 blocks, but it´s exercise!) of the house, where I could use their free WiFi. Well, I say free - I spent over 5 Euros on breakfast in order to sit in there for an hour and a half. But it was good to be on my own computer at last, instead of the public ones I´ve been using. At least it meant I could email my CV (such as it is) to a few places.

I´m shocked at how short a time my laptop battery lasts though. I´ve played about with the power settings til I´m blue in the face and I´m pretty sure it understands that when it´s on battery power it´s meant to use the lowest amount of power possible. I don´t have any peripherals plugged in, I´m even trying to only have a couple of websites open at one time and yet, when I switch on it tells me I have something like 2hrs 45mins. Within 20 mins, it´s telling me I have an hour left, and then that hour runs out in about 40 minutes. It´s infuriating!

I realised last night, as I swigged my first beer of the day while I still had the hangover from the night before, that I haven´t actually had a day with no beer since I arrived! Oops. I´ve been pretty good food-wise - plenty of fresh veg in my fridge and I haven´t totally lived on patatas bravas and tortillas, but I have so got to stop drinking every single day. I sound like a complete alcy (is that actually a word?) now!! So for a couple of days those nice people at San Miguel / Cruzcampo / Mahou will have to live without my custom.

So yesterday I went to look at a room in a shared flat. A completely new experience as I´ve never shared before (well, yes, I shared with Sid but I already knew her!). I was a bit pessimistic as the only other place I´d looked at was dreadful - a poky little room with almost no light, in a dilapidated old building, no outside area and no internet access. This place was a revelation! A big, 3-bedroomed place, newly refurbished, beautifully decorated, comfortable room with loads of storage and huge windows, etc etc! At the moment there´s just one Irish girl living there, but there is also a double room still advertised to rent so it´s possible that at some point there may be 4 people living there. Still fine though the queue for the bathroom will be interesting! It also had a huge sunny balcony with a view of the mountains. But the piece de resistance was the fact that the fire brigade has a training school just round the corner and apparently, the firemen periodically run past the flat, bare-chested, on their way to the park for a training session. How could I possibly say no?! So I took it. I move there on April 14th for at least 2 months. If nothing else, the fact that I have rent and bills to pay should incite me to try harder for a job.

Last night, I went with Julie and Behram to a new bar in town which was meant to be having "international evening" and turned out to have a pair of hiphop freestyle guys testing out the PA in readiness for a gig next week. My idea of hell quite honestly, so after a couple of drinks we bailed and hit Cafe Madrid which has a huge intercambio every Wednesday evening. Really busy but good fun. Met some great people, chatted lots, got some good hints of places to go and convinced half the Spaniards that they´d missed a treat if they´d been to the UK and not gone to Brighton! I guess from my side of things it wasn´t exactly intercambio as I spoke almost only English all evening but I´m determined that once my 3 days of Spanish lessons are over next week, I´m going to start practicing. Having said that, I did spend 15 minutes speaking French!

Talking of practicing Spanish, this morning my 2 next door neighbours (2 very sweet guys) trapped me outside bringing my washing in and insisted on showing me round their respective houses. Not quite sure why though it was interesting to see just how small a space one person can live in. The house right next door to me is miniature! Like a little doll´s house! But then for the next 20 minutes they bombarded me with Spanish about anything and everything. House prices, South American Indian souvenirs hanging from the ceilings, the fact that I only need to knock if I need anything (would you believe, one of them actually said "...like a cup of sugar...." - I always thought that was a terribly English thing!) - for the most part I got the gist of what they were saying but not the nuances, and I pretty much said nothing back! Bless them, they tried to slow down but without the vocab, I didn´t really stand much hope. I think I´m wrong but at one point I´m sure one of them told me that the necklace he was wearing was not made from beads as it appeared, but from the dried dung of a very small South American animal that jumps really high! I smiled and nodded as much as possible but it must have been pretty clear I was lost!

So today is "doing stuff" day - nothing too exciting mind you. Recycling, clearing up (as my landlady is coming to stay at her own house tomorrow night!), writing out some ads to post for English teaching/conversation, and some relaxing in the sun which has thoughtfully come back.

AND NO BEER!

Hasta luego, everyone!

Third World Internet!

Grrrrr. Having been told by a very nice man in the Telefonica shop that I would only be able to get casual, Pay as You Go broadband for my laptop from Orange, I happily skipped into the Orange shop this morning to sort it out.

Hah! No, no, no, the sales assistant said, slightly amused (possibly more by my Spanish than the content of my question) - broadband for your laptop - minimum 18-month contract! WHAT?! How many people must there be here who have no intention of staying for 18 months?

So - having discovered that there isn´t a single WiFi signal good enough for me to hijack in the flat, for at least the next couple of weeks I´ll have to carry on coming down to my usual internet place, wrecking my back on their plastic chairs, or swallow my pride and sit in McDonalds using my laptop and their free WiFi. Well, free of course will involve buying at least one drink and making it last as long as my laptop battery. And of course, it involves actually stepping across the threshold of a McD, something I haven´t done (except to abuse their toilet facilities) for a good 20 years or so. But it´s the nearest place to me with WiFi so I guess I´ll have to bite the bullet.

This is a great place, really, but they have a lot of catching up to do in certain areas.

Purple shoes and grey skies

Today started unexpectedly with another trip to Locandita for "Speechcraft", a regular meetup where Spaniards can come and get practice and help with public speaking (in English, obviously). It looked like it wasn´t going to happen but there were 2 Spaniards (PJ and Nacho) and 3 Anglos (Richard, me and Julie) so we thought what the hell and did it anyway. Down we went to the meeting room and after a quick "Talk for one minute about a subject given to you" we started the presentations. Nacho´s was his first so he did 3 minutes basically introducing himself. Then PJ told us a story with a moral - his English is really good and he has a voice that Brian Blessed would be proud of!

Then, rather alarmingly, it was our turn! Having had no idea that it was meant to be 3 minutes, nor that "moral of the story" was meant to be the theme, I was reduced to telling a joke! OK, a funny story, and it was something I´d been carrying round in my bag for days just in case. For those who recognise it, it came round by email a while ago and was entitled "Why Parents Drink" - employer calls an employee´s home, concerned he hasn´t turned up at work and has an increasingly worrying conversation with a small child. I won´t spoil the end - if you recognise it, then you get it. If not, you may forever wonder. Anyway, free tapas followed, making it all worthwhile, even if I did throw tomato all over Richard´s shoes.

Then Julie and I had a doing day. I´d found a massive hole in the bottom of one of my lovely red boots so my least favourite thing in the world had to be done - shoe shopping. Fortunately for me, the 3rd shop I tried had a fantastic pair of purple boots, very me, for 20 Euros. Sold! We hit Lush to sort out Julie´s Madrid-ravaged skin (well, actually, we blame the beer). Then we headed to the other side of Plaza Mayor so that she could look at a room she wants to rent for the next couple of months. Now I was expecting a room in a shared apartment or something, but it basically turned out to be a hostal - a double room with a private bathroom, and WiFi. She took it pretty much on the spot. So our planned chores were almost done, just a quick trip to a bookshop to find a book on Spanish grammar that had been recommended.

Then it seemed that the day had barely started and it was siesta time! She headed to hers, I headed to mine - and it started raining! Now that wasn´t meant to happen, certainly not when I was wearing sandals and a T-shirt. I managed to escape the worst of it and headed home to make a giant pan of lentil and vegetable stew. Which hopefully is simmering nicely while I´m writing this.

I seem to be getting alarmingly used to this not working lark though at some point the financial implications are going to hit home! Back to job hunting then.....

Santander sunshine!

So to cheer myself up I booked a trip to Santander to visit Louise, my landlady! A 5 hour bus trip ended with a very numb arse but smiley Louise meeting me and whisking me away to her great apartment high up on the crest of the city. I couldn´t see a lot (it was night, I wasn´t drunk!) but she assured me that you can see the sea from the balcony. We chatted and drank beer then crashed.

The next morning (Thursday) dawned bright and sunny. Louise had gone to work and the day was my own. I grabbed the map and headed out into the unknown having marvelled at the view from her balcony! It certainly is a town on hills. All the way down to the waterfront was a steep hill which was great in that direction but I wasn´t relishing the journey back up! I headed into the narrow streets that make up the bar-restaurant area. A real mix of new and old. I walked out along the waterfront to the east, past an enormous Brittany Ferries cruise liner (that explained all the British and American elderly people I kept spotting) until I could go no further. Then I came back to the old part of town and treated myself to una caña (beer) and a bocadillo (sandwich) in the sun. Then I decided to head west to the little beach. On the map, it appeared I would pass both the Museo de Prehistoria and the Planetarium on the way so I decided to take a look. Given that the museum was clearly marked on the tourist map and had a huge sign above the door, imagine my surprise to find an obviously permanent sign by the door - Cerrado el Publico (Closed to the Public). Ah well. The Planetarium also turned out not to open for another hour and it appeared that you needed to be a minimum of a group of 5. Oh well, the beach it would be. It was a cute little beach with only a dozen or so people sunning themselves, and a very tempting ice cream van (I thought we only had those in the UK). I sat on the sand, dug my toes in and wrote my diary for a bit. My bladder being what it is, and Spanish beer doing what it does, and there being no such things as public loos, I then started the climb back up to the flat. And it was certainly a climb!

After a short break at the flat and a well deserved litre of water, I decided to head out again, this time in the opposite direction and towards the Playa el Sardinero, a huge beach Louise had recommended. I really hope it means Beach of the Sardines, but probably not! Just before the beach I found a beautiful little garden full of benches which overlooked the beach. I treated myself to a very large ice cream and watched the world go by. Unable to resist sand between my toes for a second time, I descended the long staircase to the beach and plonked myself in the sand again. Much wilder sea than the earlier little beach, presumably because it faced a different way so the waves crashed in front of me, threatening to swallow up the one brave swimmer!

Eventually I had to contemplate the climb back to the flat, realising that I had the only set of keys and Louise would be home from work soon. I made it back just in time, then we chatted for a while again before going out to eat at a clearly very popular, but also incredibly smoky, tapas/racion place. Given that I am generally resigned to living on patatas bravas and tortilla these days, it was a real treat to discover that they did a huge vegetable kebab. I was like a pig in the proverbial. I giant kebab filled with broccoli, potato, tomato, cauliflower, mushroom, red pepper and bizarrely, pear arrived, drizzled in olive oil and cooked perfectly. Mind you, I did have to have patatas bravas on the side! More beer and the fact that I´d been out all day in the sun eventually caught up with me and we plumped for the taxi option to get back. I was disappointed that it was such a short trip - I was heading back to Madrid the next morning. Santander had been a real revelation. It reminded me a lot of Brighton, Brisbane and Barcelona (I would say almost anywhere beginning with B but then I remembered Bradford)!

Fortunately, the next day dawned grey and threatening drizzle. Due to the one set of keys issue, I had to leave the flat at the same time as Louise left for work and despite my efforts to walk at Spanish speed (ie a millionth of a mile a week) I still got the bus station with an hour and a half to kill. I wandered about in the local area, but needless to say nothing was open so I settled myself down with a book. The journey back was uneventful but longer than expected due to the Friday afternoon Madrid traffic. Still, I was back in time for the Friday night meetup at Locandita where I found Cristina, a Spanish girl I met in February 2008 at Vaughan Town!! It was lovely to see her but the meetup being what it is, I actually barely got to speak to her. We´ve promised ourselves lunch one day. 2 of the guys who had been on the Vaughan Town week that I had so nearly been on also turned up and told me some interesting stuff about the week. Given what they and Dade had said, maybe I should be grateful I didn´t end up staying the week!

Sitting outside drinking beer at nearly midnight can pretty much sum up what I came here for, but if I want it to carry on I NEED A JOB!

Cafe carnage!

So yesterday was spent in a haze of beer with the lovely Julie from Portland (all 6ft 2 of her!), mostly in JJs bookshop and coffeeshop/bar. We went there to brainstorm about our futures but after the first couple of beers, there was more storm than brain. Then we got chatting to the other people in the bar, including Morad who I think may be a permanent fixture. He´s a very wise, though slightly sozzled Brit (Iranian) who bought us drinks, chatted away and gave me a stern pep talk! So 4 beers later (and no food), we staggered back out into the sunshine in search of tapas. Having put away enough food to down a small rhino, we somehow found room for a pastry from La Mallorquina at Sol. Yum!

Madrid continues to be a revelation as I swear this kind of stuff doesn´t happen in the UK. Or maybe it´s just that I don´t go to the same kind of places at home.

This internet place is becoming my second home. I really need to either fork out for mobile broadband or at least find a proper WiFi cafe where I can take my laptop. This place is cheap enough, but it´s all public computers, uncomfortable seats and behind me are the international phone booths, filled with very loud people shouting at their relatives in South America!

Today I´m off to Santander to visit Louise (my landlady - and friend!) for a couple of days. She has a spare room this week and I´m missing the sea so it seemed like a great plan. So there is a 5hr 30min bus trip awaiting me later this afternoon. Better get a good book!

It occurred to me today I haven´t had chocolate and churros yet. Huge mistake. Needs to be rectified asap!

Not the best experience

In an attempt to gloss over the disaster that was Sunday, suffice to say I learnt a salutory lesson in trusting people who think they have more power than they actually do, and who then relinquish all responsibility for the outcome.

What did I find out? That complete strangers here are damn friendly and helpful when you´re in trouble. That Spanish long distance buses are fast, comfortable, cheap (fortunately) and show some very dodgy films. That taxi drivers here, as in the UK, don´t always know where they´re going.

So - Madrid again after possibly the briefest sojourn ever, 10 days into my trip. I can´t pretend it´s quite turning out as planned but a) I´m not where I was and b) my Spanish is improving rather fast, by necessity.

I now know a couple of other people here in almost the same situation so we´ll get together, commiserate, brainstorm and work something out.

And if not - I´m not above begging the mad cat-obsessed taverna owner in Kalives for a job. Er yes, that´s in Crete, not Spain but so what? It´s not Gatwick!!!!

Hmm, what now?

So I realised this blog wasn´t just intended to chart my teaching adventure - I´m still in Spain, so far still "sin jamon" so I´ll blog away.

Spent a relaxing day today with 3 of the other course "dropouts" and a guy who´s still on it. Wandered the streets, ate lunch, drank beer, went to the Retiro, and generally chilled.

I did email off for more info on a job this morning but I´ll be very surprised if I hear anything. And do I really want to answer phone calls for a company who do "depilation by light" even if they do specifically want a "native English-speaking woman". Still, it might be some money just for a bit.

That´s it for now. I´m going to make myself vegetable soup and contemplate my future!

Hey, I don´t need food or sleep!

I guess a blog wouldn´t be a blog if I planned what to write in advance, or updated it too regularly.
So - a brief rundown of what´s happened since the last time!
I spent the weekend wandering about generally, getting my bearings, working out where to buy soya milk etc etc. All the important stuff.
On Saturday evening I gatecrashed the Vaughan tapas night to say hi to the staff I knew, and also gave the participants who were about to head off for a week as volunteers the benefit of my wisdom and experience!!! Well, it was good for me to meet some new people anyway.
I dragged poor Dade round Madrid afterwards, made him buy me beer (no, wait, he offered!) and listened while he scared me senseless about the forthcoming training course. Oh, that was after he did his Guardian Angel impression and rescued some poor tourist who was being targeted by a slimy pickpocket. I don´t know about the pickpocket, but he scared the crap out of me!
Sunday, I met up with 3 of the other trainees (or victims!) - Cecilia, Behram and Steve. We´re a mixed bunch - needless to say, I´m the oldest on the course apart from one but I´m taking the view that that means I have more life experience. Sod the fact that they can stay up later, drink more and don´t seem quite as stressed by 9 hours homework.

Talking of which - first day of training was technically a half day! HAH! Yeah, we finished at 1.30 but then had 3 hours homework and had to design from scratch 3 individual one-hour lesson plans. With no material, no suggestions as to what a lesson plan is or what it should look like etc etc. I started my homework at 3.45 and finished just before midnight. Crazy!

So day 2 rolled around - the morning was spent with us practicing drills with the rest of the trainees but before we knew it, 2.30 had arrived and it was time for our first practice classes. All I can say is "Poor Spaniards!" The first 3 hours didn´t go too badly but hour 4 was a train wreck! I was knackered, dehydrated, needed the loo (yeah, I know, too much info!) and to be quite honest, slightly hysterical. And my 4th lot of students could see it - it was written all over their faces!

So - how do I think it´s going? Really, I have no idea. I guess I´ll know on Friday if went OK if they let me go on to week 2.

All I can say is I´m doing my best. Which is all I can ask of myself, and all they can ask of me. Let´s hope it´s enough!!!!

And so it begins...

OK, so I´m a bit fuzzy on the whole blog thing so apologies if I bore you to death. I promised myself I would start it the day I arrived, but I´ve been here 2 days and this is the first opportunity I´ve had to veg in a net cafe. Anyway, here goes..

It all seemed like a distant dream in November 2008 at my interview. Surely the day wouldn´t actually come? OK, so I started the career break, handed in my J-cloth uniform, talked about it all in theory but.....Friday March 13th 2009 rolled around with ever-increasing speed. For the fortnight leading up to it, I went through every possible feeling about the whole thing - excitement, terror, elation, trepidation, confusion, you name it. I also went from "Well, it´s only for a year" to "Oh my god, it´s for a whole year!"

And on March 11th at 4.55pm it happened. I realised the enormity of what I was about to do and burst into tears just as poor Andy was about to leave for a fun boys´night out!

Now to anyone who´s emigrated to the other side of the world, "enormity" may seem like an exaggeration. But to little old me, who has spent 19 years and 11 months in the Civil Service, never been abroad for more than 3 weeks, and has done almost nothing alone, this is most definitely enormous.

The day before I left went by in a haze of last-minute packing, walks, hugs, tears, laughs, cat-snuggling and roast potatoes!

I knew what I was about to do, but then somehow I didn´t! Yet before I could blink, I was at Gatwick, vast quantities of hand luggage weighing me down and (somehow) EXACTLY 23 kg of checked-in luggage being whisked away by BA.

Feeling somewhere between a condemned woman and Christopher Columbus, I enjoyed a final tearful hug with Andy and headed for departures.

A planned meet-up with my mum and Cathy was half-fulfilled (sorry, Cathy), then it was off to Gate 104. I´m sure people must have thought I was being deported, accompanied as I was by the uniform-clad UKBA representative (did you find your way out, mum?)

I settled into my emergency exit row and stretched my legs out - a bonus! "Oh yes, Miss Hostess, in the event of an emergency, I know you´re expecting me to calmly open the door and slide gracefully down the chute, and of course I´m happy to assist". Well, no, happy might not quite be the word in the circumstances, but I´ll do my best!

So - 748 miles and 2.5 hours later, touchdown at Madrid-Barajas. Feeling worryingly calm.

The calm wasn´t to last of course. A 25 minute walk to the baggage hall, yet another 25 minutes waiting for my luggage (which did at least turn up!) was followed by a taxi debacle. My pre-booked cab was nowhere to be found and there wasn´t even anyone at the desk. Caitlin was waiting at Louise´s apartment for me, yet it looked like I wasn´t going to make it in time. Panic was starting to set in a bit! But bless her, Caitlin was entirely practical, left the keys with the vegetarian restaurant by the apartment and we agreed it would "all be fine"!

And of course it was - sort of. The cab came eventually, delivered me, I got the keys then discovered for the life of me I didn´t seem to be able to use them! A lovely ancient toothless neighbour eventually helped me in and jabbered away at me. Now my Spanish isn´t fantastic, in fact it´s more non-existent but her lack of teeth meant I stood no hope. Still, I smiled, said Gracias a lot and that seemed to be OK.

And so here I was, in my home for at least 2-4 weeks. I unpacked alarmingly quickly and went out for provisions. A couple of little mini-marts provided me with the basics, though no fresh veg so far! I hauled my goodies back to the flat and added my Marmite (OK, I had to bring something with me from home) to Louise´s Vegemite!

Then I tidied myself up and headed out to the English speaking meetup at Locandita - somewhere I know I can always go on a Friday evening! Met a couple of old friends and plenty of new ones - and unexpectedly met Caitlin! Neither of us knew the other would be there so had never mentioned it earlier. It was great to finally meet her and laugh at the earlier key trauma! I had a lovely evening though by 10.30 I was trashed and had to head back - somehow in the process I was asked to help Jose, a very lovely blind Spanish guy, to his Metro. I´d been here 8 hours and someone had been put entirely in my care for 10 minutes! Eek! Still, Jose is possibly one of the bravest people I´ve ever met and having seen him onto his metro, I headed off to mine with a rather warm, fuzzy glow!

And that was it. End of Day 1 of (fingers crossed) my new life. At the moment, even the training course seems a long way away but that won´t last I´m sure. I disappeared under the duvet and re-emerged after a long and happy sleep into Saturday!