Saturday, 31 December 2011

Tinker tailor soldier ... WHAT?!

The title probably says all it needs to. I went to see the new Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

Result? I have precisely no clue what happened. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed it. It was well-made and the acting was great. But could I tell you the plot? Not a hope.

Hmmm, given that I drafted this post months ago, I now have even less idea what happened than I did before. I think I read the book about 25 years ago. I don't remember being quite as baffled but maybe I was and I just finished it because I hate to give up on a book.

So if anyone can actually explain the plot to me, go for it!

Shopaholics baffle me

In October, I went clothes shopping twice. Anyone who knows me will know that that pretty much doubles the total number of clothes shopping trips I've ever made.

Put simply, I hate every miserable, depressing, pointless, expensive, soul-destroying minute of it.

I don't do clothes. OK, I wear them! Let's face it, the alternative doesn't bear thinking about but I can't and don't get excited about them.

They're a necessity, like food or having a shower.

At the end of October, I went clothes shopping with someone else, for them. She was looking for a dress for her wedding - not a wedding dress, you understand, just something nice to wear. I have no idea why I was asked to go along but more to the point, no idea why I said yes. I could have predicted how it would go. And go it did. Within twenty minutes, I was bored stiff. We'd been to precisely one departement store so far and picked up loads of dresses, skirt suits etc etc. A couple of things had even been tried on and dismissed. I had a sinking feeling.

To be fair, I don't think anyone's heart was in it. The bride had already said that if she didn't find anything, she had something already in the wardrobe which would do the job so I guess there wasn't really much impetus.

Because I don't go clothes shopping, I really didn't know what a baffling array of styles, colours, sizes there were. Shops didn't seem to be laid out in any discernible logical order. Why not put all the dresses together? All the trousers? Etc. Oh no, they're all mixed up into party, formal, office, informal, casual, blah blah blah. All the other people in the shops seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves despite the fact that as far as I could tell, their trip would involve several hours of traipsing, trying on and then some serious damage to their bank accounts.

It is absolutely no fault of the bride in question that I hated the entire experience and I'm sure she knows that.

It just confirmed my long-held belief that shopping and I were just never destined to be friends.

PS - I feel obliged to point out that she didn't buy anything in the end!!!