Sunday, 29 August 2010

The amusing downside of job hunting

In my recent search for work, I've come across some interesting ads, especially on sites like Gumtree and the Friday-Ad, where ads are free.

Today was the best yet, however! On Gumtree, I found the following:

"Hello there

Im a self employed businessman looking for help. I work from home and I need a PA for general easy admin jobs, cleaning jobs, booking flights, hotels etc. Some travel will be required but only if it fits in with you.

Full time hours offered, part time too if needed. Great rates of pay, easy going environment. £80 an hour, no mistake.

Please reply for more info

Yes, you read that right - £80 an hour. Being a cynical, suspicious kind, all sorts of things ran through my head - cover story for drug runner? Prostitution? Money laundering? Still, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I thought "What the hell" and fired off an email for more info.

Within minutes, I had my reply, as follows:


Before you read on I must stress to you that this is a very genuine job offer.

Im looking for a female to work with me at my place just as they would do normally but in underwear and in the nude while I work from home. The work is simple admin, bit of cleaning, general easy going jobs.

All above board, NO contact or touching, im just rich and bored and want to try something different. Will pay you daily in cash. £80 an hour. Sometimes you can come away with me when I do business and be my PA, il pay £100 an hour for that aswell as all expenses covered.

I'm looking for all kinds of females, different shapes and sizes, ages 18-50. This will be a very discreet agreement. I also must stress that this is an agreement between us both and no photos or filming will ever take place.

Please reply if interested with a recent pic and add me on MSN via this address.

Thanks for the interest.

Bloody hell! OK, so I was already suspicious but I can't say I expected quite that (despite one friend's suggestion - before I got the reply - that the guy might have a "uniform" he wanted me to wear! Good call!) My initial reaction was righteous indignation, shortly followed by tummy-ache inducing laughter, then bafflement, then the temptation to report the ad to Gumtree as inappropriate. I guess the ad itself wasn't exactly inappropriate, but it was certainly misleading (apart from the rate of pay, of course!) These rich, bored guys really exist?! Well, at least one of them does and he lives in Brighton. But really - how bored would he have to be to want me parading round the house naked?! And how desperate would I have to be for work?!

I start Monday.


  1. Seems a bit of a conflict between
    a) no photos or filming
    b) send recent photo

    So... do tell... When do you start?

  2. Shawn - I'll bet you will!!!

    Jeremy - Maybe he's promising not to photograph the photo. When do I start? See very last sentence of blog!!! (Joking, by the way.)

  3. I did see the last sentence and it is clear that it doesn't exclude you 'working' for him. It merely asks the question about how desperate you would need to be. Answers on a postcard? (Joking, by the way).

    If you are planning on going back in January then 16 weeks at 40 hours a week at £80 an hour is about £50,000.

    This all reminds me of the story about George Bernard Shaw and a female dinner guest. He asked her to sleep with him for a million pounds to which she replied 'Yes'. He then asked her to sleep with him for five pounds. She was affronted and asked 'Just what sort of a woman do you think I am'? He replied, 'we have already established what sort of a woman you are, we are just haggling over the price'.

  4. Splendid story!! That's not the last sentence though. Look a little further down!

  5. Ah! Got it at last. Hope he has the central heating turned up; or, if not, maybe that is his plan to make you appear more 'perky'.

  6. Just noticed that you posted a comment yesterday afternoon. Does he know you are surfing the net when you are telling him you are booking his tickets? Seems he is paying you £80/hour for you to update your blog.

  7. Ha ha! Just to make it clear to anyone who's confused now. I didn't actually take the job! Though after Jeremy's comment about £50,000, I'm starting to wish I had!

  8. My guess is the pay wasn't all that good. The chap might have been happy with only ten minutes of eye-poppin' good work. I'm sure your day would have been done after an hour at the most.

  9. Ha ha! I see your point but an hour a day would have been worth it for £80 per hour, I can assure you!!